hEllow.

going out with vickie now. :D

i hate this part

you know how you rebound?
im rebounding pretty hard
on the person i least expected to be there when all of this shit is happening.
i pray to god this all fades cause you are pretty much heartbreak central.
plus in NO FUCKING WAY are you my type.
ANDDDDD you're just too cute and a total charmer.
AND AND AND, im running your marathon, the one you made me do to help me get better.
why do you send butterflies off course whenever you call or text or even make eye contact?
ITS JUST FUCKING REBOUND!

happy chinese niu year yawww.

wtf is jo doing? well these are the people that help make my life COMPLETE
i absolutely cannot get over three things
a)how ridiculous dinesh looks with his half im getting to as cool as ernest look
b)how ridiculously good ernest looks here. he should really take up that contract.
c)how ridiculous it is that leeyen is the only yellow one there.hehe


speaking of which, happy MANJAN FEST!

to the hindustanis

if you have nice eyebrows, text me.

i will deffo go out with you.

kidding.


but seriously, nice eyebrows give me instant orgasms. hehe

ernie ez

fuck i lost my ezlink card, need to go get it done with ernest now. SIAN.

SUGAN WE'll MISS YOU. AS SOON AS YOU COME BACK WE"LL SETTLE ALL OUR SHIRT PROBLEMS WITH TOOTHPICKS OKAY MIKE?

real friendship, his vinoth and sugan before his departure
dinesh and me. wah their all so grown up now.
MY BEST FRIEND VINOTH :D
this one...i dont know
yup, thats ernest for you.
leeyen and her bffl sugar.
dinesh obama pimp and suganesh :)
my man ernest and sugan looking a little cheeky.
this one was just for laughs.
and all of us :)

okay i put them up on my blog because here i dont have to edit and resize for facebook. im too lazy, will get them done soon. UNTIL THEN, cb please make do with this. click to enlarge.



okay, so i first made friends with sugan on 8th january 2009 and i swear i've never felt so close to someone within such a short span of time, having known him so little and vice versa he helped through a really tough time, and i'll never forget him, swear on toothpicks. take good care sugar, we'll all miss you back here. come back soon, vinoth's all sad. i'm gonna laminate your card and stick it on the wall. to remind me everyday how blessed i am to have a friend like you. though shitty, these three weeks have been very special thanks to you, cause it has reminded me about
how important friendship is.


cny today was DAMN happening. ask fel for more details. RACHEL WAS AWESOME during dance today. gotta go now, party time.

tan leeyen, thank you so much, as much as i hate to tell you, i didnt cry over you know what, so aston's meal! i'll pass you your motherfucking long awaited present then okay XiiAoooYenn~*!


oh and vinoth, dinesh and ernest, thank you. that guy wont ever be half the men you guys are. he'll probably end up with aids or something along that line at the rate he's going. i trust you guys wont destroy yourselves like that. TOOTHPICK SOCIETY!!!!

sick

doctor says if i eat properly, i'll get well. digestive system has got too much acid, its gonna shut down.

gastric pills and jabs cant save me forever. somebody forcefeed me.

but i dont have an appetite.

poker face

hello world. meet this piece of heaven. ed westwick

tuesday

today was quite bad in terms of school hours. fucking three breaks and wendy got puffy eyed. had a twenty minute conversation with nicole. and you know what, thanks. i dont know why but talking to you sorta made me feel like, someone understood. you didnt dwell on it much, but the looks and gestures sorta gave me your perspective on it.thanks.

speaking of which the class has got alot of... weird stuff going on. which means its time for, A CLASS OUTING! i mean, its our last year, cant we at least try to be happy? like...this?
or this?

those days when si yuan and iffah were around, wendy and heitung were banged and we had bridging and macs all the time.


i think right, that i need to go for open heart surgery, to remove the damage. seems quite permanent.


okay, time for some gossip girl, desperate housewives, one tree hill and the city!



WIDYA CHEN HUI JING MELATI JOHAN IF YOU SEE THIS FIND A WAY TO CONTACT ME NOWWWWW.

brand new day

im not going to cry.
you're not going to defeat me.
you're not the only one.
those tears were shed,
but they wont stream down because of you anymore.



because you're not worth it, you never were to begin with.

back to square one

i'm back to sobbing again.
no really how the fuck am i gonna get through this, i keep calling you and asking you the same damn question and everytime i get shot down. its day eleven and i havent lived a day without thinking about you, texting you or calling you.
i am a pathetic excuse for a human being and deserve to get fucking murdered. i swear it sounds very inviting right now, not living this life of agony, sorrow, misery, and any other word you can think of that means the same.
i cant concentrate in class, words like binomial or transnational corporations somehow makes me think of you, im hungry but i cant eat, im sleepy but i cant sleep, naren's jokes arent as funny.
my whole life would make sense if you came back.
i've lost, game over,i surrender, just take away this pain and i swear i'll give you a BILLION DOLLAR REWARD.


then again, no one can.

thank you?

though im not a really big fan of liverpool, actually i um.... nevermind, i feel like my friends are part of that team, yelling out to me "you'll never walk alone."

no matter how cheesy or corny that just sounded, i appreciate every single gesture, be it a phonecall or understanding look that tells me that soon everything's gonna be fine if i only stayed strong.

i made a mistake, i went out with someone who didnt treasure me, who thought i was making unreasonable demands. dude, which girlfriend wouldnt wanna spend new years' with her boyfriend? and which girlfriend wouldnt be happy if her boyfriend kept making empty promises.

oh, and i put up with your lies time and time again, i smiled whenever you said you'll never let me go, i was stupid and foolish enough to believe YOU, faggotfuckingface.

no,i hope you dont die and burn in hell, i think you yourself screwed your life up major anyway, i think you did me a favour by dumping me, someday you'll realise no other chick will love you like i fucking foolishly blindly did. and when you do, i'll be gone forever.

i never did understand why people said he's not worth it, but now i do, sorry underqualified, application denied.

im stupid to still pine after you, im not gonna lie, a part of me still wants things to work out for us. but thats only cause im used to seeing a future with only you. if you're gonna agree to my terms, we'll talk.

i think im better off, its not confirmed. i know im gonna go back to crying for the next few days, im not over you, i admit, but i'm going to try and stay strong. you broke my heart, karma's a bitch, like seriously.

oh god, tell me this is a bad dream so i can turn back time. i miss you.

look at him, he's gonna grow up to be great someday. he can smile with his eyes, he can drive his bike with no handlebars. he is living.

if only i were to go back to these days, when easy things like seeing a kid smile when i gave him a sharpener made me feel like my whole life is complete.


now, i have no life.
i hate myself.
i love you.

day 3

i stood there in the middle, and tried to wait for a car to hit me.



and then i chickened.



but,i think im getting closer to where i want to be at.

kill me now i want to die.

i've failed in what i was most passionate about.
i feel like a complete fuck up, like my whole life has been drained out of me, like there's nothing left to live for.
its easy to tell people to move on, but it sucks when you cant even take your own advice.


when i hugged you,
when i screamed for you to come back,
when i was helpless,
when i told you i'll always loved you, i always will.

you just stood there, unfuckingphased.
that tearful hug that could have explained it all just felt cold and unwanted.
i await 200 more sleepless nights.


the first time it hurt, and just as i was about to get over it, you came back like a whirlwind in my life, told me this time we'll make it work.

the second time it sucked really bad, but you came back and knocked me off my feet, promised me you wouldnt let me go. and i believed you.

yes, i believed everything you said. for you to turn your back on me, for you to cheat on me, for you to forget everything ive done for you, everything ive lost, have you really become that selfish?

am i really stupid to still want to make things work for us, im still pining for you, im still rooting for this to work out, im still living in this silly little dream wondering whether you'd call and say you're coming back, you'll try, it wont be the same, it'll be way better.

but now i've realised, it isnt gonna happen. i need to get away, walk away.
i should have known, i was used for amusement.
i kept hanging on, it was my fault, i got myself into this, but it seems like there's no way out of this mess.
really, return to me salvation.


im not me, you took me away from myself.
now im just living this empty life.
wait, i have no life.
it feels like nothing without you.
you've had so much control over me.
i know im not going to be okay for a very long while.
can someone give me something to kill the fucking pain.
i cant smile.

are you going to come back?
if you arent,
kill me now, i dont have anything else to live for.

did i mention?

how much i love you prinesh? thanks for being there for me woman, i was a wreck, and you made my new year's eve and new years...the most memorable and reflective one yet. i wouldnt have it any other way anyway. :)