back to square one

i'm back to sobbing again.
no really how the fuck am i gonna get through this, i keep calling you and asking you the same damn question and everytime i get shot down. its day eleven and i havent lived a day without thinking about you, texting you or calling you.
i am a pathetic excuse for a human being and deserve to get fucking murdered. i swear it sounds very inviting right now, not living this life of agony, sorrow, misery, and any other word you can think of that means the same.
i cant concentrate in class, words like binomial or transnational corporations somehow makes me think of you, im hungry but i cant eat, im sleepy but i cant sleep, naren's jokes arent as funny.
my whole life would make sense if you came back.
i've lost, game over,i surrender, just take away this pain and i swear i'll give you a BILLION DOLLAR REWARD.


then again, no one can.