omg

like a star

this goes out to my friend naren menon.

somehow, i feel guilty. im not even gonna try to justify myself because stuff like this happen like, all the time. so let me tell you how i've been feeling, if this could make you feel any better.


gp essay style, therefore i'd like to conclude that we need some major catching up, to settle your issues. you're not left behind, you just...need a little "pick me up." and thats what im here for. im sorry if you've been feeling that way, and if ive not been the friend i should have been, the way you were to me as well.

to kesaven, get well soon. care package tmr!:D

to vinoth, o levels coming soon, study hard. no soccer!

to dope, why did you have to go have chinky family dinner, i miss my regular phonecalls, wonder whyyyyy i stopped giving you wake up calls, maybe cause they werent effective anymore. okayyy, dont worry, i still remember your house number, one day i'd call to pretend to be another insurance agent since they're the only ones who call.

ulfreddddd and huda, i miss you!


and to my other special friend, darling im always going to be here for you. i love you to death, whatever you're going through right now... happens. im here, everythings gonna be better, i promise. i love you, does that make you feel better? you feeling so down isnt doing anything to lift my spirits either. its okay if you cant do much for me, as long as i have you as my special friend for the rest of my life, its worth every breath i take. if you ever read this, take good care of your family right now, they need you the most. as for you, you'll be getting loads of TLC from me.

j

i spent yesterday productively, studied. happy birthday to janani! :D

caught batman again :D

ZOMG

i have a fucking geog tutorial not done, thing is i dont plan on it lah.

tutoring is a fucking hard/hand job. hahaha. so we were pretty much making fun of becca the whole day. we were talking about how stupid some guy was, and lesley went like, ya just like becca. then we all laughed. and guess what becca said: ehh, im not a guy okay? wth. most would be offended by the stupid part? i nearly spat my nacho cheese sausage sandwich. which was pretty awesome by the way.

sara was having the worst case scenario fluffflumps.poor girl, cant have her chance to get her sexy on with the red sea. inside joke.

ashok called me today, he like nearly get orgasm over the fact that he can watch batman again sia, you shda heard him on the phone. i think i'd prolly sound like that when a kind soul like kenneth were to call me and say "eh, i bought you your iphone for your birthday".

suddenly, i miss everyone

blogger is now available in malay, who said the world was prejudiced?


alright,i had preetty amazing friends in secondary school, mainly my council friends, and of course tongster,weeds,eka,ulfred,huda and leeyen. so suddenly, i miss everyone. where are they anyway? leeyen called today, asking if i wanted to go to mustafa, the new in place. trust me, if you dont shop there, you dont know what you're missing out on. not.

well in jc however, ive got shane, nat, sara and naren. at times janani. and oh yea, fabulous joyce and phyllis(above beatty) sara's bitchy cause she's already half cambridged, so she thinks she can skip sch and get away with it, so not she'll pay i swear. naren is always genuinely concerned, unlike some who ask for the sake of asking.

i like special people like naren and sara, so i'd like to cartel them, cartel's one of my favourite bands, so you guys should be honoured



anyway, mostavall, i miss you.



ashok, if you see this, any chance of batman see again outing? ASAP before no cash.

faggy days/

i think ive influenced people into using terms like faggoty, and faggy.

there must be a reason to be happy is it? lil pink got so excited. i miss lil pink. :)

im gonna catch batman tmr. here's what slam had to say.

foxhound says:
heath ledger is awesome in batman
foxhound says:
he didnt overdo the character of joker. unlike jim carey did with riddler
you give me something, that makes me scared alright. (: says:
oooohh
you give me something, that makes me scared alright. (: says:
okay, imma go catch it tmr.
you give me something, that makes me scared alright. (: says:
awesome, thx for the headsup
you give me something, that makes me scared alright. (: says:
btw, i thought when ashok asked you you said no.
foxhound says:
really ah
foxhound says:
i cant rmbr eh.
foxhound says:
i nv really liked comics
foxhound says:
but i always find batman movies interesting
foxhound says:
(BUT I ALWAYS MOCK BATMAN CANT fly. JUST TO IRRITATE ASHOK)
foxhound says:
hehee
you give me something, that makes me scared alright. (: says:
hahahaha. bet he gets so angry
you give me something, that makes me scared alright. (: says:
he'd fight you
you give me something, that makes me scared alright. (: says:
i always liked the batmobile
foxhound says:
hahahahaha yup he defends batman. i always say "Batman cant fly, what if got traffic jam. batman cant save the day"
you give me something, that makes me scared alright. (: says:
HAHAHAHA.

ashok is a die hard fan of batman, i think sometimes he has those dreams where he pretends to be batman. its quite amusing really. i sometimes pretend i'm lucy liu from charlie's angels. my class is on a "friends" craze, all of em quote friends like quoting from the bible/q-ran. i kept making lists of what i wanted for my birthday, which by the ay is coming, justa let ya'll know. naren just stared at me blankly mosta the time, or gave me the world's gonna end face. which sucks. naren cheer up kay?

then i went to far east today, had tamil listening, today was rather fag, nothing interesting xept for sara and her weird nerve problem, so i had to go specially make a request to mr energy up there to fix her nerve probby so that she can come to school tmr.

shane LOVES high school musical. :D


and i look forward to more faggy days.

fag.

i already know how its gonna go tmr, and on saturday. i could only hope i am wrong. but oh well, be content with what i do and what i have. best part is, its you.


you know whats a really fag thing to do? eat macdonalds three days in a row, when you're sick.
mcdonalds is food for the disabled. its comfort, its easy and best of all, its potatoes.
so wheni eat mcdonalds, you dont actually feel any guilt, and then slowly its creeping, and then panic hour when you dont shit it out within the next 5 hours, then you find yourself sticking a finger down your throat hoping to get your $6.10 back. not.

tmr there's school, thats a fag thought. i actually like school alot, but there's like geog and math and other unimportant stuff that i dont want to think about. i hate having to worry about pw, and homework, and the fucking deadlines, i hate it when i cant make it for friend dates cause of pending homework. and i love to hate complaining, and i do it anyway. i love to contradict myself, cause you dont really know what i mean at the end of the day.

you know whats another fag thing, spending your sunday, your whole sunday, on the com doing nothing. when there's integration hwmk, geog readings and GP left to do. so like, fuck? im going to school early tmr to complete undone stuff, so yea i have to wake up early tmr, and im on the yellow pill, the best flu drug in the world, that knocks you out cold half an hour after taking it. so should i take it now so that i dont hit the snooze button at 550 in the morning tmr? hmm, talk about the biggest dillemma of the century.

so then there's the whining. thats another fag thing. the crazy whining goes on in your head. the time of the month, the backaches, then tuesday there's gst. tmr is the 14th of july, the cycle repeats. the right thing to do is to do things anti clockwise, if clockwise aint working for you. but im fag, so i'll try to make clockwise work, its like turning me into a chinese speaking beef eating gambling shitbag. and then like sara says, life sucks and then you die.

another fag thing ive been doing lately, is playing with my mega massive graphic calculator. that thing is awesome, i can like draw on it. i think its better than a macbook. i am kidding myself. i would like to muy a macbook air, everyone contribute a dollar to my macbook fund pls. kthx.


this would be most close to sensible entry since the fag days. i am still a fag, i still think about fag stuff, cry over fag stuff. and then there's the fag promos to worry about. 7 weeks to sept hols. 8 weeks to realm of destruction, no hope and faith. i think i'll be seeing noone at orientation 2009.

have i mentioned my grades? they're the faggiest things ive ever seen, they make me feel like imma failure. only gd thing is tamil alevels is this year, and i seem to be going fine with it. D in secondary school was a faggy grade, but nowwwwww, D is our craving, D is stable, shiok. H1: A,D,E. H2: U,S,D cb, failed two h2 subjects, dont even get me started on geog, fagggy grade, faggy attempt, lit was shit, Subpass cause othello. who cares about that black NS man? i dont, i do not give a rats ass if desdemona lost her hankie to cassio or if cassio had gay sex with iago. i really dont, give me some good shit to work with, i like brave new world, it saved me from a U. i woulda gotten a D. if it werent for Iago and Roderigo. Econs bagus, got D. i love elasticity. GP got D/E, not sure if they round up half marks, math was faggy,E but its a band 2. i shall attempt to pay attention during math, and pimp with paolo when i get my promo math results back.A for tamil, fucking surprise. maybe is cause of the relentless 5 page essay on nonsense, my teacher seems to like the length, maybe cause he ran out of toilet paper at home.

Kuma made it as ics prezzie. that donkey is a genius at this kinda thing, so shiok only. paul has been M.I.A for ten years, i feel faggy missing people. then there's the xx dawn yang weird ass conflict thing, fag thing to be concerned about, but its pretty cool watching two fake things have a go at one another, i just cant wait to see who's plastic nose falls out first. thats the only thing wendy's got to lose though, since only her nose is fake, but dawn's whole face is fake.

im reading c-w's lj before she moved away from the public eye. it wont be long till we all find her again. she craves attention. funny thing is i wonder why me, and some others are so obsessed with knowing more about her. unravelling her stories. actually, there isnt any point, she's just a lost little girl, no point beating her down. pretty irrational on both parts. oh well, it still never fails to amuse me, i still snigger when she walks by, funny thing is i dont know her personally. all ive heard is stories. ahh, but im quick to judge, shoot me. im not that perfect myself though, maybe i should try taking a chance on her, then like... route to enlightenment or something? i think thats the most close to fagless ive been today. good on you aish.

mummy just bought cookie dough, i am euphoric. nice end to a faggy day aint it?

you're awesome

its like my whole world is you.
i wont forget yesterday,
who knew you could love me? :D



all of a sudden, i miss everyone.
council,ics peeps,RELS,dope,ulfred,hudaaaaaa aiyahhhh sorry keep putting off the meet, keep getting busyy

i love prinesh. she's like the best friend i once had. 11 years of awesome friendship and more. i love my prinesh to bits :D

16 candles.

Answer the questions below, do a Google Image Search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, do it with minimal words of explanation.
b) Tag 5 other people to do the same once you've finished answering every question

1. The age you'll be on your next birthday:

2. A place you'll like to travel to:

3. Your favourite place:



4. Your favourite food(s) :



Your favourite pet:



Your favourite colour combination:



Your favourite piece of clothing:



Your all-time favourite song:


Your favourite TV show:

10. First name of your significant other/crush:Or if not relevant :



11. The town in which you live:


12. Your screen name/nickname:



13. Your first job:



14. Your dream job:




15. A bad habit you have:


16. Your worst fear:



17. The one thing you'ld like to do before you die:



18. The first thing you'll buy if you get $1,000,000:

i tag no one, but its fun lah.

:D

so today was pretty eventful. after talking to prinesh and my cousins i sorta realised maybe there isnt any point being bitter.
so i caught wanted, fucking awesome.
then i know shane wants lick the TATU girl's tehteh.

shine a light.

funny how things can change over a year.
you never think you could be so bitter about something
so cold towards opportunities.
so hopeful over something that is never meant for you.
i dont like myself these days, so bitter.
i need my light, i need someone to show me the way.
i need to know i can heal, i need to know how long it'll take.

time seems to move so slowly these days, i count the days, 9 to a year.
yet i know it'll never mean anything to you. you've changed, your heart has changed.
what i ask of you seems impossible to you. irony is, i felt that way a long time back.
but i tried, and it worked. you're not willing to try.
it seems so easy for you to forget, to betray,to move on
i laugh at karma.

i need to stop wanting you. tell me how to.
block delete ignore isnt exactly working the way it should be.
you know, you'd never think you'd know what a true heartbreak is, until you actually get to it.
so yea, there's nothing i coulda possibly done to prepare myself for this.

you're not worth my time, my effort, my tears.
but i still need you.
the never ending conflict between the mind and the heart.
you know how people always tell you to listen to what your heart says?
well they dont fucking know what they're talking about.
look where listening to my heart has gotten me.
my mind tells me everyday, that its wrong.
my heart tells me dont give up, he might still..
and then there's the rude awakening, the nightmares, the sleepless nights.
the confrontation, the realisation.
the words "i dont love you anymore"

funny how things changed within days.
funny how you feel alone mosta the time.
funny how everyone around you disappears, secretly feeling happy that something in my life that meant so much to me goes wrong.
funny how you still smile when all you want to do is cry.
funny how the irony of life remains funny.


i want to be superwoman.
i want to change this.
i dont want to wallow in emotion, pity, grief.
i think i grieved enough for you. i think you lied enough, i think i tried more than i should, i think i should learn to move on, i think i should forget you.

problem is, i dont know how.
and sometimes i dont see the reason why.
you think the last time i wasnt this hurt.
guess what, the facade just isnt working anymore.
all these emotions bottled up inside.

you think your friends would want the best for you.
and then when you tell them the only thing that makes you happy is the thing that plagues you
they laugh and ridicule your stupidity.
even when they mean the best for you, you just arent willing to accept it.

i seek solace in my music. the only thing that keeps me remotely close to sane.
someday you'll realise that we were meant to be.
but i wont be around to share that with you.

mas selamat

my first featured friend:

1) What's he/her full name?

Ulfred Wong Liang Jun

2) Does he or she have a bf/gf?

yes!

3) Do you know a secret about him/her?

yea, and i keep them.

4) How old is the person?

17 years old, february.

5) Has he/she ever cooked for you?

he helps me do my cup noodles.

6) Is this person older than you?
by months.

7) When was the last time you thought about him/her?

last night, today morning

8) Are you really close to him/her?

pretty much, yea.

9) Do you have a nickname for each other?

i call him homie mosta the time, chink when he annoys me, i call him crazy things. he calls me ampu, ampunehneh,black charizard and homie.

10) Do you think she/he will repost this?

nah, he doesnt read this, i dont think he does.

11) Could you live with this person?

he's too chink for me. hahah. no lah. everyday would be aracade day, we'd go bankrupt.

12) Why is this person your number 1?

he cares the most.

13) How long have you known this person?

5 years.but closer for 3 years.

14) If you ever moved away would you miss this person?

yea. def.

15) Have you ever given this person something?

loadsa treats. and hairbands

16) How well do you know this person?

i know him for as much as he's let me know him.

17) Do you miss him/her?

right now? yea, he's always broke so i have to wait till the 17th of july to see him.

18) Is she/he on drugs?

he's on elizabird.

20) Do you know this person's shoe size?

i KNOW, but i sorta forgot.

21) Have you ever worn this person's clothes?

no.

22) Have you and this person made up a hand shake?

we too cool ,we fist it.

23) Has this person ever seen you dance?

yeah, i've seen him dance too. mass dance.

24) Have you ever heard this person sing?

yes unfortunately.

25) Do you know this persons friendster password?

no, we're not like twin close.

26) Have you and this person evergotten into a fight that lasted more than 2 days?

we get pissed, we dont talk, then we talk again and forget everything over texts.

27) Does this person cry alot?

no. but ive seen him cry when he's angry

28)Have you met this person's family?

his dad. in a nescafe ad

29) Have you and this person went clubbing?

he pubs with his towkay, and complains abt diarrhoea the next day. its pretty pathetic.

30) Do you know how to make this person feel happy?

sometimes, but he's the one making me happy mosta the time. he gets happy when we talk about sex.

31) Do you and this person talk a lot?

yeah, when we meet up. sometimes, we forget the other exists, pretty sad considering how close we used to be in sec school. i miss you ulfred, you hear me!

32)Have this person ever yelled at you?

yeah, recently too, over how stupid ive been with life.

33) Have you and this person got into a fist fight?

i punch him, he laughs.

34) Do you love this person?

yea, i love my homie.

35) Do you want to be with him/her forever?
i wanna be his friend forever.


okay mummy told me mas selamat is in indonesia.

fuck

hi my name is aish.

he doesnt love me anymore.

and i'd like to die tonight.

kthxbye.

vinoth ilangovan

i am talking to my best friend.
he makes me feel better, some way.
with his horrible singing and his vain photos.
somewhat miss him.
where'd my heart be without his nonsensical singing
"aint no mountain high enough"

he thinks he's the next singapore idol
for that, you need to be sexy lah best friend.
teeheehee.

okay i shall stop here and continue talking to you.
eyy, talk in tamil okay, stop calling me bastard, all the best for your olevel tamil oral. bestie rooting for you.

shit

after all of this, i still feel like shit. can i have a time machine for my birthday please?