i'll keep my opinions to myself, they only get me in trouble.

Your celebrity match is Johnny Depp. You like your men funny and smart. http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz_67.html">Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

could the quiz be anymore true? i think i've found my soulmate. anyone masculine, artistic and charismatic around? we want you! call 1800 aish-is-desperate.


so like wth am i doing here? simple, im here to rant. olevels are...not that scary to begin with. im pretty comfortable with my papers,neithr do i want to say anything to jynx it!

ahh, before i continue, i shant forget. i owe someone a huge apology! being the judgemental person i always am, i always loveeeee to make fun of people of lower wit. given your looks and intelligence i never understood how you could date people, that i might say, are not of your standards. haha, pretty shallow of me, i know right? i envy you actually, how you're so much less superficial than i am, im pretty shallow when it comes to dating. i should take a page or two from your book. im sorry if i had insulted you, didnt mean it in anyway. im always making cracks at people, shouldnt make cracks like that though. :(, sincere apologies, hope you read this.

ok i just copy pasted this on person's msn, just in case person doesnt read this.


so, graduate of beatty. how does it feel aish? pretty numb really. will miss council, though i missed out on the best parts ( i am to blame ), i still have fond memories whether you like it or not!

and melvin, your pictures are with me. i'll send them asap. when ive resized, editted till we both look pretty awesome.

and here's my thanksgiving page to all grads.
sorry if ive missed out names, im a little itchy, minds not in this.

wenshan,thanks for all the sweet memories, like the sweet cakes!
robelle,will never forget that formidable ass shaking of yours. violent as you are, you never fail to put a smile on my face.
cheryl may,thanks for the good times and th bad, you will be sorely missed.
jy and jy, though i dont know you two verywell, you just about gave me the gist of being twins, which is so hard when i cant diferentiate the both of you
esther:friends for life, apparently. hope to see you in my JC.
geetha, ahmaagad,my most favourite. i love you to bits, seriously hope we dont lose touch, we can hang out with guha.
jhansi, thanks for what you've made me realise about myself. it woke me up.
mei hui, thanks for being the first friend i had in beatty, you made things look up.
siang joo, best partner in the world, will never forget you and your nonsense.
xin yi, thanks for being the great lab partner that you are.
phyllis, ahmaagadd, i love this woman! she's hilarious and awesome,best NZ buddy ever. MIKA.
jiayan, the hollow tree. will never forget you for calling me bellatrix. jkjk, anyway...you're kindness is much appreciated.
megawaty, ahhh, the old days. having laughed so much with you, i will never forget all ive been through with you. with sabriya and the rest. you remember?
mellissa, you are brilliant. like seriously. and really funny. how we used to fumble in english spelling. haha.
neela, the coolest person i know, and will ever meet. stay the die hard harry p. fan that you are.
sharanyaa, the best tamil partner ever. so much laughter i had, ovr stupid things. i love your voice so dont ever quit singing!
samantha, ahhmaagad,this girl made life in beatty a roller coaster ride so thrilling. i never realised my mistakes if it werent for you. you are brilliant,charming, and i can see you'll go very far in life. i hope we can start anew.
xuanxuan, you are absolutely funny and a genius. a litte firecracker i might add. someda i see you in high heels and on a plane. but on tv.
jeanwen:you're really quiet, you should talk more next time. the one conversation i had with you left me wanting for more.
latif: racist ah? you are totall bullshit, and i love you for that.
edward:best monitor ever, will never forget you and your cool essays on spy cameras.
andy:mr smartypants, whn i think hardworking, i think you.
bryan:you are small and cute.
hexun:thanks for all your views on philosphy, your handsome adorableness, your humbleness about it, and the cs lewis book, and enlightenment on religion
tecksiang, thanks for all the sudoku tutorials, and i think you are friggin cool do be good at math so much. you're a genius in your own right.
ricky:you are the nicest boy i know, stay quirky. and be bullied by peera.
peera: i get reminded of the toilet everytime i see you. the time we met at orchard cine was quite funny actually, shouting across the roads. anyway, you are VERY FUNNY, we love you for that.
yuanhong, stay the computer genius arcader that you are. someday you'd event the brand new cs
ray, you're a great guy, you'renice ad you help people. you also confuse with your views. thats pretty cool.
wengfung, you're a nice guy. but you tend to be a bit too modest at times. you'd always be mr 246,but beattyian to me.
yun hui, MY NEIGHBOUR! PSL with you was fun, walking to schoo toetherwith wee tze an all. will miss that!
keng guang: you are very funny, but you broke your arm before. and all your jokes are in chinese. grr. sepak takraw all the way!
jia jun, the math genius born on halloween. happy advanced birthday. may god bless you with more math.


and the special few.
glenda-for being the president THAT CANNOT BE REPLACED. being undr your presidency was truly enjoyable, and an honor.

melvin:you and your camwhoreness. never thought i'd find the perfect camwhore partnerr!

siawah: you are so freaking hardworking!! an you're amath genius. you're the best exam partner, and 5n boy gossiper too! teehee.

JQ: you are awesome, your heroes knowledge is never sparing,and the fun times we had at baybeats and all the other movie stuff was cool. hope to keep in touch with you, given the ups and downs we've had.

ulfred: YOU, the TRUE GENIUS OF BEATTY SECONDARY SCHOOL I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE MOVING TO TIONG BAHRU! and i dont care, you better come to bishan for lunch with me next time! an thanks for all that you've taught me. i hope to follow in your footsteps someday. you're my favourite, the ultimate best buddy.

kenneth tong, needless to say you're my homie, and i'd think i'td be tha way for many years to come, love you homieyomie!


some other special people?

wati,given where we are at right now, im sure you definately will not appreciate the special times we've had. but i do. distance, but im sure i'd be able to make up for this, even if it takes years. if only you could respond? not with the cold stare, but a smile.

kriffith,you're great. i think what you've done with your life is remarkable. the way you've taken falls in your stride, i love you for that.

isabel, you're my best friend, i think you're amazing, and quirky and so caring its soooo ahhmaggaddd! you're just this person full of awesomenesss i cant stand it.

nicole, you're an amazing literature student. you make lessons so much more funny. toilet with me?

huda, the best geog partner in the world, all the talk about harry potter and stuff got me thinking, whens your annual hari raya feast? huda's so nice and british.

samkoh, you're really awesome, the video making process was pretty cool too. you're someone with amazing talent, and blessed by god as well, i admire you for that!

widya chen melati johan, ok you are one heck of a character. full of charisma and ridiculously stunning, you'll go way far than you think if you just could try. please? anyway,i love the way we first clicked immediately two years back, i had so much fun with you, and you were there for me when no one else was. i can talk to you about almost anything, and as cheesy and corny as it sounds, it sucks that we've been growing apart. but i swear i'll never forget you. i'll still call you and see wassup, even after 20 years. i hope you'd answer =]



okay people, thats it. if ive forgotten anyone, sorry! okay study for the o's man, see ya'll soon!

XOXO,aish.

sometimes i just wonder...

if i say too much.
if i hurt too much.
if i assume too much.
if i talk too much.
if i need too much.
if i want too much.
if i love too much.
if i hate too much.
if i force too much.
if i patronise too much.
if i expect too much.
if i talk too much.
if im too difficult.
if im too strong willed.
if im too stubborn.
if im always misinterpreted.
if im always going to be misunderstood.
if im always take people granted.

these are questions that i have yet to answer. and it bothers me really, how i can be so much of a pain in the ass and not even realise it. i realise,today, that i've been acting like the whole world revolves around me.

now, who am i really to have forced you? really, i wonder. sometimes i wish i dont say anything. i should be happy with what i have you know. i know you so much,that i could even realise what you were thinking at that very moment.

i hate that i know you so well.

and however much i pray that what you were thinking wasnt true, and even if it werent true, the fact that, that particular thought had already crossed my mind...indeed worries me. have i just been in denial all along?

i surprise myself sometimes, how i force myself to associate with people im not fond of. and ive had conversations with you about it, you've often wondered, i realise.

i found my answer. forgive me for sounding hypocritical, but thats life, and its inevitable.

these people, unlikeable as they are, are unavoidable. i wondered why i bear so much dislike for people, but then i realise, the problem, lies with ME. genius,aish.

if i had continued to concentrate on each and everyone of your(people's) flaws, and blame all faults on people, then it only goes to show, that the problem, indeed..is me.

fact is, i've been struggling to come to a realisation. i knew this all along, as usual, afraid to admit.

im ashamed,
to have shown the ugly,needy side of me.
to have wasted your time. entirely,not only for today's episode.
to have taken you for granted.



my insecurities, have led to my downfall.
my dependancy has led to my own failure.


i am not surprised by the way i acted earlier, that was just the ugly side of me waiting to come out. i am simply not pleased easily. i expect so much out of you, i feel like ive stretched you to maximum capacity. it must be difficult bein my friend, my homie. mental and emotional torture even perhaps. it must be exhausting.

no, this is not a post on self pity.

its just me,finally realising things arent as easy,or as simple as they can, or could be.

its almost as though i want it to be written in stone, that you'd be there for me 24/7.
why?simple.


i lost one already. i just am not ready to lose another one.


i've been feeling really insecure and lost without her,she's just been around so much, that i expected the same out of you.

and that was wrong of me. really wrong. you're different.

i sincerely apologise, i really really am sorry, never been this sorry before.

i just hope you forget this.

i know i cant erase that thought that crossed your mind, that thought that was left unspoken as we both know (at least i think i know what you were going to say) would be dire if said.

neither can i let you say it out loud, im too afraid to hear it from you anyway, it'll be the rudest awakening.

but i'll work hard, hopefully i can make things right with you again, homie.



and i miss you too jo, if you see this. =]