Insecure, and i dont care about my Black Jacket.

ok, i was on friendster, i searched...MARYMOUNT CONVENT SCHOOL.

and almost 50% of them are overseas, 20% lesbos, and the unfortunate 30% stuck in my position, the normal life. and out of that 30%, 10% are in normal schools while the other 20% are in ELITE schools.(elite including regular convent schools like SJC where i was supposed to be at)

there,concrete proof that life is such a fuck up. ok i am just kidding, im happy with where i am,and i definitely love unicorns.

anyway, about statistics. i noticed within that 10% (where i am) 8% have no friendster pictures of their own, or if they do they are...how shall i put it.... ok, better you go search yourself (here are the perks, there is stripping involved. no need adultfriendfinder!)

you know, ok maybe you dont know, i have always been wanting to graduate. i feel, the people around me, and me, are very fake. ten days from now and me and someone else are having a feud, my friends (in my opinion) would probably go side the other party. thats how fake i think they are. but i think im just thinking alot, too sensetive, almost deranged and crazy. ok i have no idea what im rambling about. let me make it clearer.

i think, that my friends, will not stand by me, at the end of the day. i dont know, maybe its just me, but i have been feeling really insecure these days. hmm still dont get it? ok here. lets say im having this fight with this boy, and at the moment no one says a word, even if im insulted. if this thing blows up, who would my friends go to, the boy with lots of money, and of course, a different skin colour, or me? this is just an example.

so what am i going to do, how am i supposed to assure myself my friends wont desert me. ahhh... there, i think you got it now.

an acquaintence once told me, friendship is a game of risk, and if you're lucky, you might just survive it.i feel his words now.

or maybe i think too much, i tend to do that alot these days. i am insecure about things and im not sure if the pple im mixing with are really the pple i shd be mixing with. not that there's any problem with them , but its the loyalty that is the question. i know we shouldnt expect alot out of people, but thats just human nature so suck it up.

so yea. im glad i let it out. i realise i dont trust pple that eaily, i dont even trust myself sometimes. then it hit me, life IS risk. so yes, im going to close my eyes and let destiny(ok scratch that, sounds too corny) life take me wherever it can take me.im bound to fall, and thats the way it is.

but dont forget, i am a very vengeful person. so if you happen to hurt me...=[[

so yes, about waiting to graduate... today was my o level mt written paper. was alright. hopefully i didnt screw up. my friend misunderstood the compo question and she got mad at me as though it was my mistake she didnt know what the question was talking about.

but overall it was fine, kenneth said he could pass, an the malay paper seemed ok so yes, everyone's happy. HURRAH!

so which is better, marymount or beatty? convent/slut school or gangsta/neighbourhood school?

its like comparing...

VS

ok, up to you to decide which is beatty and which is marymount. too hard for me to choose.

ok, my house looks like a tornado just hit. me joj0 and shane (yes he's back hurrah!) tried to share on teeny weeny be while watching love actually.(i weeped and stained shane's shirt.) and then now it looks...lopsided. then the cake that those two ate...the plate hant been washed for three hours so there are cake bits STUCK to the plate! and it looks..... nvm

but those two are my homies.

okay, no idea about what to blog about. i have been trying to inspire myself the whole day but nothing comes up.OK,pple. i just remembered, i have a problem. i think you've heard before, but im hving a problem with chosing my path

JC VS POLY

oh yea, the big question. didnt see that one coming did ya?of course you did. here's the timeline

2004-2005: VJC

2005-end 2005:SAJC.

2006-June 2006: CJC/SAJC

June 2006-NOW: CJC/NP MASS COMM.

HOW??!!! and my mum doesnt want me to go through direct admission for poly cause its risky (what if i dont like it there, im very fickleminded as you can see from above) everyone has their own point of view, problem is...I DONT HAVE MINE. i need to find one ASAP.

jojo is going to NP to do Business or CJC. Shane is done, Clarence is in NJC. so how?!

poly and jc have their own pros and cons, i dont have to bother to list them cause you probably are more familiar with them then i already am. so how am i going to make this life altering decision!

i hope at this point of time i have this very persuasive friend that will persuade me to ta along wherever he/she goes, cause i honestly have no idea where the fuck to go!!!

okay,i am going to eat now. MEXICANO here i come.