crimson within stays there.

i woke up today with brightwood streaming through the speakers.

but really, the urge to lie back down,into the seemingly endless pleasure of bed was almost enough to engulf me in sheer agony.

i lay awake, stoned a little bit. did the usual routine of crossing random thoughts of what may have been, the day that was ahead of me.

i awaited the pain that usually happened after this. but today seemed harmless. something as simple as a family affair.

it was the start of the week,truly i had been wrong to fear what awaited me?

noharmdone. but there is the nagging realisation.

how i realise that family hasnt been a part of me in a while. and i sat still,with the purple red and blues on the floor. wondering if i ought to do something about it.

i sighed to myself.neither did i wait the sign from god. ambidextrous as it is, i know im incapable in believing in something i have not much faith in.

i will go back to bed today. wondering if the choices im about to make are right. the booklet lays perfectly in between toto-chan and leaflets. it wants to be left untouched. just like how i feel sometimes.

i go back to bed most of the time. wondering if in friendship,you're supposed to expect something in return. isnt the love the same as family? then why is nothing bugging me.

an example would be childish. birthday gifts are good enough.

i am happy with today's results. i will work harder, better,faster, stronger.

tomorrow is a different day.

same shit.

im happy today. everything is at ease. i can go back to listening to my modest mouse now.